What about sex?

Sex may be the most pleasurable natural animal activity, at least among mammals and possibly among all animals, though eating when hungry, drinking when thirsty, warming when cold, cooling when hot, and scratching an itch aren't out of the running. Yet sex is a source of much human misery. Mating is one of the most important determinants of satisfaction in life. Parents give mating of their children much thought, worry and hope, often tacitly. We just don't have a formula for optimizing sex and mating. How can wisdom prevail in an arena where desire and impulse are so strong? Both love and the lack of it make people crazy.
How much delay is optimal? Most religious traditions teach abstinence until marriage, but that teaching has been ignored by many throughout history and has largely lost traction with the sexual revolution. This trend makes more sense as our culture encourages delayed marriage, incident to the perceived need for both spouses to be employed outside the home.
The youth culture today is a minefield of temptations and opportunities. Perhaps the biggest increase of danger is in the availability of pleasure drugs, but the danger of irresponsible sexual activity is much greater than it was in the 50s. Back then, unwanted pregnancy was the biggest worry and the likely STDs were curable; today there are several deadly STDs. Some happiness-diminishing and incurable STDs are now epidemic, afflicting more than half of young adults. Consider the inner conflict of an ethical person with an incurable STD. Thus, there is a practical downside to hooking up and friends with benefits. The upside might be the containment of depressing loneliness, fantasies, obsessions, compulsions and anxiety, and the development of comfort with the other gender, technique and sociability. Can the upside be maximized and the downside be minimized?
In today's environment, can a young person be guided toward a happy mating outcome without cynical motives? Would advice about goodwill, good intentions, long-term hopes about life be valuable along with that about protection? The internet once promised to help in identifying compatible mates, but abuse of that system presents some dangers. Examples of beneficial life choices might help.